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Monday, 19 December 2011


Today, I finally received news of one of those events which shocks the world. Something so great, I can hardly even believe I'm typing it. That's right: They are remaking American Psycho, and setting it in the present day.

For some reason, people keep emailing me this image today - what does this have to do with Ameican Psycho being remade?

Now, this seems a little odd, since a lot of American Psycho was heavily tied in with the eighties, being a social commentary and whatnot. However, it is still possible they will be able to pull this off, given Wall Street is still as callous and greedy as it ever was. My only concern is that, with the times having changed so much, how will the story differ from the original (which already differs greatly from the book)?

Luckily, IMDB Pro already has a page up for the new film, so here are a few select samples, copied and pasted in for your pleasure:


Synopsis: A wealthy New York investment banking executive hides his alternate ego as an internet troll from his co-workers and friends as he escalates deeper into his illogical, gratuitous fantasies.

Memorable Quotes:

Patrick Bateman: I'm at a loss. He was part of that whole..."Mac thing"... you know?
Donald Kimball: What do you mean... "Mac thing"?
Patrick Bateman: Well, I think for one that he was probably a closet homosexual and a hipster. Who bought overpriced hardware to try and look "individual"... that Mac thing.

Patrick Bateman: [voiceovers] I can't believe Bryce prefers Van Patten's tripcode to mine. If I was a Newfag I would start a thread with Van Patten's Facebook on, telling everyone to troll him for being a dick. But I'm not. I'll just speak to one of the sysops instead - they all come on my IRC, and won't want to get Banhammered for not trolling him for me.

[Bryce posts that he is going to go offline, Bateman interrupts]

Patrick Bateman: Let's see Paul Allen's tripcode.

[Looking at Paul Allen's thread]

Patrick Bateman: Look at that custom wording, so it actually spells something. The tasteful use of Leet Speak. Oh my God, it even has an exclaimationmark!

Patrick Bateman: Did you know Linkin Park's debut album, titled simply "Hybrid Theory" has sold over 24 million copies worldwide? And that 5 of the 12 tracks on the album were released as singles? Their follow up album Meteora was a little emo for my taste, but Hybrid theory defines the perfect fusion of alternative rock, and hip hop.

Elizabeth: [laughing] You... You actually own a Linkin Park CD? More than one?

Patrick Bateman: Ask me a question.

Club Patron: So, what do you do?

Patrick Bateman: I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.

Club Patron: Do you like it?

Patrick Bateman: Well, it depends. Why?

Club Patron: Well, most guys I know who work for Apple's legal department don't like it.



Hipster's Sign: I am the 99%. Feed me a stray cat.

Patrick Bateman: Don't you want to know what I do?

Christie: No. No, not really.

Patrick Bateman: Well, I work on Wall Street... for Goldman Sachs. And I think you really need to get yourself a proper job and start paying taxes, so you can pay for my bonus when it comes time for our next bailout.
[The girls shake their heads, Bateman's Jaw Tightens]
Christie: Is that really how Capitalism is supposed to work?
Patrick Bateman: Well, actually, Christie, that's none of your business. But I can assure you, all your moneys are belong to us.
Patrick Bateman: [on the phone to his lawyer] Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've trolled a lot of people. Some furries on the Fur News Network uh, some obese people on YouTube - maybe 5 or 10 - um, a fashion Blogger who walked into a propellor. I spammed her facebook 'Get Well' page with posts saying she looked like Willem Dafoe. I hacked into Lori Drew's cell phone and left a message saying she killed Megan Meier for the Lulz, and used a low-orbital ion cannon to DDoS 9gag last week. I posted a pic on /b/ telling people to go on imagefap and search for "loli" - I had to, someone has to clean out all the cancer - and, uh, some other .gif I can't remember maybe some gore? But not that chainsaw one. And Mitchell Henderson. I've been putting an iPod on Mitchell Henderson's grave on the anniversary of his death for the past 4 years now. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've trolled maybe 200 people, maybe 400. I have screenshots of a lot of it, uh some of the guys on my IRC have seen the pictures. I even, um... I even RickRoll'd some people, and I tried to pretend I thought Millhouse was a meme. Tonight I, uh, I just had to DDoS a LOT of Websites. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty 1337 guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up on IRC, so you know, keep your eyes open.
Bateman excuses himself from a conversation by claiming he has an appointment with "Clay Davis". This was Isiah Whitlock Jr.'s character's name in The Wire.
In each scene with Detective Donald Kimball (Charlie Sheen), The Rock asked Sheen to portray the character three different ways: 1) Kimble knew Patrick Bateman killed Paul Allen, 2) Kimball didn't know Bateman killed Allen, and 3) Kimball didn't think Bateman killed Allen, but was fucking with him for the lulz. Johnson would then edit the takes together, giving the audience an unsure vibe of what Detective Kimball thought of Bateman.
Unlike Harron's 2000 adaptation of America Psycho, The Rock's version includes a scene with Patrick Bateman's brother Sean, played by Casper Van Dien. Interestingly, Van Dien played Juan "Johnny" Rico in Starship Troopers, alongside Michael Ironside (Christie), although the two never appear on-screen together in this film.
In the first interview between Detective Kimball (Charlie Sheen) and Bateman, when Kimball asks what Bateman thinks could have happened to Paul Allen, Bateman suggests that a poster from >>>/mu/ may have hunted him down and killed him for saying Spandau Ballet are a rubbish band. Steven Berkoff, who plays Paul Allen, also starred in The Krays (1990), in which his character, George Cornell, is shot by Ronnie Kray, who is played by Gary Kemp from Spandau Ballet.
Initially, Lions gate were keen to cast Val Kilmer as Detective Robert Kimball. However, after Kilmer overheard The Rock refer to him as "The worst Batman ever", he left the project. The part eventually went to Charlie Sheen.

P.S. How appropriate it is that my 111th post would just happen to be about American Psycho. Check out my trips!

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