There was a massive campaign last year for Rage Against the Machine's 'Killing in the Name' to be made Christmas number one here in the UK, in order to prevent the year's X-Factor winner from once again taking the Number One spot. The problem is, despite how well that scheme worked last year, Simon Cowell is still very much unstoppable in the music business, owing to the fact that people can't get enough of ridiculously rude British celebrities. Therefore, I believe the only way to stop Cowell dead in his tracks is to deploy our very own super-offensive English weapon; no, not Piers Morgan, they're in on it together. We need someone from outside Cowell's world, someone who can bring the music industry down from the outside. A man with nothing to lose. Possibly a man who was recently made fun of on South Park...
That's right, you read the title of the post correctly, well done. It's Gordon Ramsay!
I think we're onto a winner here, people! Someone copy this to iTunes, quick, and let's see how many downloads we can get for Christmas!