Now, I know what you're thinking - surely everyone has more street cred than N-DUBZ, right? I mean, we've all read their book, and heard their Number One records, and we therefore all know that these guys are less gangsta than Weird Al.
However, something happened today which has changed things for ever - something every real Gangsta 4 Life expects to happen to him at one point or another. That's right - I got shot!
And I don't mean, "I was acting in a film and my character got shot", or "I was out paintballing and one of my friends shot me". No! I mean I was really, completely genuinely shot by a bullet from a rifle!
...After it had ricocheted off a metal plate, broken up, and come back a hundred yards, that is.
The offending bullet fragment, smug bastard! What's he up to? He and that Penny are planning something, I can sense it!
Having been shot, I can now speak on the subject through personal experience - and I can tell you now: That 50 Cent guy is a complete pussy; whining about how he got shot 9 times. Boo-hoo! I mean, Sure, it stung like mad for about 30 seconds, and ached a little for a couple more minutes - but if you're gonna be out on the streets hustling, you gotta be able to take that pain. Luckily, I had my jeans on, and they absorbed most of the hit - however, I have still been left horribly scarred by this ordeal:
You can kind of see a scar - if you squint...
At first, I was going to start a campaign for inner city youths to put down their guns, and come together to learn interpretive dance instead. But then I remembered that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to release my rap demo, so without further Ado, I give you:
Weex Doog feat Jesus T. Rap Demo #3 (2008)
Remember kids: Guns don't kill people - as long as they only ricochet and hit you in the leg without clipping the femoral artery.
Just for the record, since this is a couple of years old and people may think it's serious - we did this as a parody after we had wrapped filming on "Hitmen" - a film in which I had a 30 second part at the end as a white Gangsta rapper who got shot for saying "Nigga please!" when he wasn't paid enough. I had the smallest speaking role in that film, but apparently everyone who saw it kept on quoting me, and insisted I had the best part, so I'm happy.