The INSANE CLOWN POSSE - Miracles (Text - for now...)

I know, I've been gone ages, and I promised you various reviews, but you know, between writing a 10,000 word dissertation, and being too lazy to do any reviews... well, you get the picture. Still, I'm back, and just to get myself back into writing these, I give you: THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE.



With the release of the insane Clown posse’s newest single “Miracles”, the internet has exploded with parodies of the Juggalo culture, ridiculously in-depth looks into the lyrics of the song, and one of the best mock adverts to hit the web since I made this incredible Volvic advert a while back...

But what truly surprises me is that none of these ICP haters (read: non-Juggalos) have pointed out the most obviously ridiculous part of the song. Dan O’Brien’s article on the scientific inaccuracies and general ignorance contained within the song, “Learn your Motherf#@kin’ Science: A textbook for Juggalos” mocks, among other things, the fact that the Insane Clown Posse, specifically Shaggy 2 Dope, have no idea how magnets work, or why shooting stars exist, and mocks the line where Shaggy states “And I don’t wanna talk to no scientist, y’all motherfuckers lyin’, and gettin’ me pissed”, suggesting that were the ICP to actually listen to a scientist, they would know that things like “long necked giraffes” (which, incidentally, have proportionately longer legs than necks, and this is the real anomaly in their appearance – something which not even Mr O’Brien noticed), and the fact that their kids look the same as they do, are not in fact miracles, but instead can be explained easily by evolution and genetics.

However, I feel that the song is not necessarily meant to be taken literally, and where such “miracles” are mentioned, it refers more to the fact that the very existence of these things is a miracle, due to the incredibly small odds of the universe being created in such a specific way that such things have occurred. Often I find myself thinking “wow, we really shouldn’t exist” – all the things that had happen for me to be here were such long-shots that it doesn’t really seem conceivable that everything could have aligned so perfectly to create us, and therefore everything is a small miracle. At least, that’s what I believe the song is trying to say, with the line about not wanting to talk to scientists merely referring to the fact that many scientists spend their lives trying to disprove the existence of God and miracles (I hear Richard Dawkins is trying to have the pope arrested for crimes against humanity – this should be hilarious), rather than accept that either viewpoint could be correct, and no-one really knows what happened before the formation of the universe (obviously a reaction to the overly in-your-face religious nuts who walk around holding signs telling us the fags will all go to hell – it’s not the cigarettes’ fault people are using them for murder!!!!!). Now, I find the evangelists who insist that the Universe was created exactly 6000 years ago and that God hid dinosaur fossils in the Earth to test the faith of believers as ridiculous as the next guy, but I still believe that everyday things can be considered “miracles” by anyone’s standards, and that, bizarre as they are, the Insane Clown Posse do have a very good point.

What I found truly bizarre about the song, however, is the fact that the line “just open your mind and there ain’t no way, to ignore the miracles of every day” comes right after Violent Jay lists “Ghosts” as one of the miracles of Earth. Ghosts? Seriously? Listen, even if you’re one of the few people who actually believes in Ghosts, you can’t honestly be telling me that you regard them as being an “everyday” miracle, can you? I have NEVER seen a ghost in my life – and I highly doubt that anyone else on the planet has – how on Earth are they an everyday occurrence? The thing is, some of the other things listed aren’t “everyday” miracles either – I haven’t seen a shooting star since August last year, so they’re clearly not everyday, but then again – Ghosts is literally the very last thing listed before the “miracles of everyday” line, meaning it reads as though ghosts are an everyday thing. On top of this – despite the fact that I am willing to accept there could be a God, and that there could even be aliens on some distance planet – hell, for all I know there are even Space Wolves living somewhere out in the universe – I honestly cannot believe that Ghosts, in the sense the ICP suggest, could exist (as in, dead people you can see floating around mysteriously). I mean, I’m as big a Patrick Swayze fan as the next straight guy, but that doesn’t make the movie real, guys! Plus, having listened to Eminem since I was about 11 years old, I just can’t take the Insane Clown Posse seriously. Especially after that incident on the Up In Smoke tour...



Serious reviews hopefully coming soon...


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